For more than a month I haven’t written anything here, and the reason was not time but health. I went to a doctor, she told me everything is fine with me, but for my personal relaxation, she would send me for some additional test to the hospital. I agreed.
Many things in the UK happen fast, but appointments in a hospital are not some of them. It took ages to get an appointment to see a doctor. After that, I needed another one for the test. And two weeks after the test I was supposed to go there to hear my results. Unfortunately, the tests weren’t clear enough, so they wanted to make additional test. Another two weeks. On this second test day, I spent two hours of waiting before I met the doctor for the checkup. It turned out that I need a local anaesthesia for further examination. This fact stressed me so much, and after I had left the test room, I fainted. It was too much of everything. I crashed into a wall and hit the bin with my head, but nothing bad had happened here.
Another two weeks of waiting for the results started.
I wasn’t desperate, but I found myself thinking how many another autumn I am going to see?… I was scared.
At the day of results call I made sure that my partner and my best friend would be available constantly. Another two hours of waiting.
The doctor, familiar looking Bulgarian man who knew me from the previous appointment called my name. He just saw my tense expression, and he told me straight away in my mother language: everything is alright, your tests are perfectly fine.
A huge smile raised over my face. I am healthy. I will leave out of this building and can live my life as usual. Or nearly as usual.
We talked a few minutes; I asked questions, he answered them and explained more. We wished each other happy Christmas, and I left.
I can’t remember another situation in my life before when I felt so deeply happy. I wasn’t excited, or over emotional, I felt peace, calm, fulfilment and satisfaction.
Suddenly all of the everyday hustle appeared to me as a silly game. Big career, a freelance business, own practice, etc. – all these things haven’t excited me in the way they did it before. I could fight for them and have them, or leave things as they are, lay back and enjoy the sun. I was able to appreciate what I have, and this was the biggest relief I felt for years.
All this is nicely said, and all of you have heard something similar somewhere else already. So, the question is how does this relate to the whole freelance stuff?
Well, it is simple: understanding that health is the central pillar of a happy life gives one enormous energy and strength to follow higher goals and strive further development. When you are relaxed and thoughtful, you can make better decisions, work better and take care of yourself. You don’t need pressure to stay motivated; this is the worst myth about productivity. What you need is to be aware of the positive things in your life, to stay focus on your aims and move with well-planned steps towards them. Enjoy your body, enjoy what you do, and don’t bother about the stupid, little things that happen every day. They are part of the way, but they are not the way, accept them and move ahead.
And I’ll see you back here in a few days, for the next stress-free post.