Mindfulness or how to deal with feelings?

After Sport, mindfulness is a sub-resolution for April, part of practising meditation to reduce the level of stress.
I mentioned already that for my exercises I’d use the book The ABC of Mindfulness and today’s post is about the first exercise:

It is what it is

The aim here is to learn that everyone has feelings, but none of us can control them.
We start our days relaxed, happy, and with the sunshine in the sky, go to the kitchen to prepare the morning coffee, and while doing this, the bottle of milk dropped on the kitchen floor. Such a mess! We are upset and probably even angry — this is the last thing that one needs in the morning.

The opposite could be: we are in our usual routine, and unexpected someone in the street or on the bus pays you a compliment! Not coming on to you, just saying how pretty you are today. I am sure you would love this feeling and would like to keep it as long as possible.

Well, this is not possible, unfortunately.
And it is not feasible to have the anger from the morning forever, fortunately.

Feelings come and go, and we cannot decide when this is going to happen.
Feelings are not right or wrong; they are not bad or good, they are just feelings.

It is pointless to try to control them because they would find their way to come to us, even if it takes longer. The best way to deal with them is to accept them:

“Oh, there is some sadness here today… hm, ok.”

or

“So much joy right now here! Wow!…”

The point is to have a look at our feelings without judging them or us for having them.
Feelings are one part of us, but they are not our life or our bodies or everything of us. They are a reaction to the world around us in general.
If we try to avoid them our body will start to hurt and showing different symptoms like if we were ill. This a natural reaction of the body that tries to show us that we need to take more care with us.
If we accept our feelings, let them some space and allow them to exist in our life, they will stay for while this would be very pleasant or probably very sad for us, but at some, the feeling will disappear, and we will feel different again.

How the exercise works, very simple:

  • Find a quite minute over the day.
  • Focus for a moment on your inner world.
  • Try to find out what you feel and give a name to this feeling.
  • Go back to your routine.

Try to do it a few times a day, and you will see that it is relieving to give names to your feelings instead of ignoring them, fight them or hunt them to stay longer.
We provide them with a name, let them stay for a while and let them be part of our life, but nothing more.

It’s a good way of relaxing, and it helps to keep a cool head.
I highly recommend this to you, and I am quite curious to know how you like it?

Best Eva

p.s. Did you see the movie “Inside Out” — it’s all about HOW to deal with feelings? Enjoy it!

Merken

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